Mr. Strangeways is not difficult to buy for…but, here are some helpful suggestions for this holiday season. Or, if all else fails, buy an ad…that perks me up faster than Fresca on my panty shield. (OLLLLLLLD Joan Rivers Joke)
Here are Some Lovely Suggestions for Gifts That Keep On Giving!
I want to redecorate…I think this wall paper suggests the correct tone for my office. It’s a tad spendy, and it’s British so it means you have to pay in POUNDS!!!! How cosmopolitan is THAT! Check out ALL the lovely wallpapers/decor at Rockett St. George….it’s so gawdamned YUMMY!
This Betsy Johnson inspired chest is also DEE-licious and would go well with that wallpaper. Yes, I’m secretly a big, gay goth drag queen poof at heart…it’s available at the wonderful Etsy store, Shabby Maggy. You WILL buy it for me!
Who doesn’t love Sid and Nancy? Who doesn’t love a Sid and Nancy commemorative plate? And, it ties in nicely with the rest of the decor…Check out MORE awesome plates at another delicious Esty shop, “Beat Up Creations” and featuring the work of artist Angela Rossi. We also love the Spock plates as well.
MORE Crap to buy me, AFTER the JUMP!
The room needs a lamp to tie it all together…this one will do. PLUS, it’s a French shop called “Spooky Shades” on Etsy and you pay in EUROS! Tres chic, mon frere! Also: it’s pink and scary! We love it…a lot. (Also the tattoo one…)
We also need some new duds…sadly, this incredibly awesome vintage paisley sweater vest is NOT our size…but, if you can squeeze into it, check it out at the Etsy shop, Old Stuff For Dudes.
We also desperately need this antique needlepoint pillow featuring our Lord, Jesus Christ…after all, the season honors HIS birfday! And, it would look lovely on my slutty red sofa…it’s spendy though, as are all the vintage pillows at the Etsy site, antiquepillowsrus. We also like ALL the pillows, so grab’em all for me…if you wanna stay on my good side.
We need some books, too. I stupidly did not buy this years ago, and now, Eiji Tsuburaya: Master of Monsters: Defending the Earth with Ultraman and Godzilla by August Ragone is out of print and getting expensive. Still, I NEED it, and if you love me, and if you love my love for Japanese Monster Movies of the 1960’s, you’ll pick me up a copy.
I also need something to watch….after YEARS of waiting, they finally have released the Worst/Best Movie Musical of all time on DVD. (Irritatingly, it’s Made on Demand, so the quality will suck.) The knuckleheads at Columbia Pictures decided the classic Frank Capra film, “Lost Horizon” based on the novel by James Hilton would make an excellent musical. Well, maybe, but they hired a bunch of people who CAN’T sing (Peter Finch, Liv Ullman, John Gielgud, George Kennedy) and gave them some unsingable songs to sing…it’s a delightful trainwreck of a film with gorgeously ugly 1970’s clothes AND Sally Kellerman. It’s a must have! Check out this awful number with noted songstress Liv Ullman lip syncing to some shitty song about circles…Google Plus should buy this!
Finally, I need some new porn…Joe Gage just released a new film, “Dad Goes to College”. It looks disgustingly filthy. Please buy it for me. Oh, you should also know the site is kinda, maybe, sorta NSFW.
Get shoppin’ bitches! It’s only a month to Xmas and Strangeways NEEDS these gifts NOW!