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September 17, 2012 Comments Off on Lovin’ The Pole AND The Hole At The Seattle Eagle Views: 885 Stuff to Do

Lovin’ The Pole AND The Hole At The Seattle Eagle

It’s just an excuse to lure you into their den of iniquity but we are obviously gonna love the new event happening Mondays at The Seattle Eagle… The Eagle will screen two episodes of the beloved cult TV show, “Strangers With Candy” starring Amy Sedaris and Stephen Colbert between 7pm and 8pm with free popcorn on hand and drink specials.

Frankly, if you don’t adore the After School Special antics of 46 year old high school freshman Jerri Blank, the self-proclaimed boozer, user and loser, (She “stole a TEE VEE!) then we might have to cut you…

Let’s take a trip down Memory Lane and revisit some of our favorite quotes from Ms Blank:

“Hello, I’m Jerri Blank and I’m a 46-year-old high school freshman. For 32 years I was a teenage runaway. I was a boozer, a user, and a loser. My friends were dealers, cons, and 18 karat pimps. But now I’m out of jail, picking up my life exactly where I left off. I’m back in high school, living at home, and discovering all sorts of things about my body. I’m finding out that though the faces have changed, the hassles are just the same.”

“I like the pole and the hole,” … and … “right now I’m as moist as a snack cake down there.”

Coach Cherri Wolf: “Next up, Jerri Blank”
Susie: “Give me a V, I, C, T, O, R, Y”
Jerri: “V, I, C, T, O, R, Y”
Susie: “What’s it spell?”
Jerri: “Win!!!”
Coach Wolf: “Jerri, uh, what does V-I-C-T-O-R-Y spell?”
Jerri: “Fandango? Hobocamp? Ho-hobocamp.”

“I’m dealing with this the same way I dealt with my own alcoholism and drug addiction… with lies and delusion.”

“I’ve changed. People change. Changes… I’m not the same Jerri Blank who informed on those blind orphans. I’m not the same Jerri Blank who revealed the hiding place of those Guatemalans… such as yourself. And I’m not the same Jerri Blank who took a crap in the Fleishmann’s holly bushes… last night.”

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