I was walking home from a day spent in the retail core. I was shopping for a perfect pair of jeans to show off my goods, yet be comfy in every way. Yes, you know how time consuming that can be. I was exhausted and maybe a little frustrated. I did not find anything I liked. So, I decided to treat myself to a cocktail and some bar food. I passed by this brightly decorated restaurant daily during my travels, but was never inclined to stop in. So I did.
Icon Grill, 1933 5th Avenue, with its tacky,yet, expensive chandeliers. I decided to sit at the bar. There were about 4 guests at the bar when I arrived. They were finishing up as I sat. The bartender was dressed in a ‘fine-dining’ uniform. His hair was in a ponytail and he was tatted on his forearms. Side note: I like to sit at a bar and create what my bartender’s lifestyle is like outside of work based on all the prejudgments I can hurl at him based on his looks and demeanor. Anyway, I sat there for a bit and struggled to find a food menu. Now, for a food and beverage establishment that markets itself primarily for the food, I would expect better menu accessibility at the bar. Finally, the bartender greeted me with a beverage napkin and a casual “What ya drinkin’?”
Something I am known for is watching a bartender make drinks for a bit before I decide what I am drinking. If I notice he is pouring weak beverages, I will get a beer. If he is pouring heavy, I will get a premium vodka on the rocks. If he is a tornado behind the bar and just doesn’t have a clue, I will stick with bottled water. After all, who knows if he has broken a glass in the ice bin; it does happen. I say all that, to say: I had faith in his skills. I ordered a Belvedere Vodka on the rocks. For all my body-conscious boys out there, that is the lowest caloric in take for a liquor-based beverage. Also, the bartender can’t really mess that up.
So, I finally get a food menu. At this point I am starving. So I order the Ultimate Macaroni and Cheese and Chicken Tenders. I do eat a lot for those who don’t know me. To avoid confusion, there are two mac & cheese options on the menu and you may be fooled into ordering the wrong one as they are not listed next to each other. Do NOT get the Fried Mac & Cheese. It is not the same thing. Now, I sit with my cocktail and wait. Of course like any good creature of this generation, I pull out my iphone and check my facebook.
After a couple minutes alone, in walks this amazingly attractive man. He was obviously not from Washington. He asked the bartender where he could buy a bottle of tequila in Seattle. Instead of being understanding, the bartender scoffed, “You are at a bar, just sit and drink it here, besides, you can’t buy booze on Sundays from a liquor store.” The man looked confused then ordered a margarita. There are many differences in how to prepare a good margarita. I have my methods, but I have curbed my style to appeal to the tastes of the gay men I have mixed for, ya know, a balance of sweet and sour with a salty undertone. I was excited to see this ‘tender’s take on the margarita.
Just as I expected, he made a traditional, bartending school-taught, classic margarita. My future ex-husband seemed to enjoy the classic. After a moment or two, my food had arrived. I was so hungry! The bartender advised me that I must cut the mac & cheese in an X then ‘choke’ it with the velveeta. Choke it???? I have come to enjoy choking things, but this is not what I had in mind. Apparently, choking meant to pour the velveeta into the X slices I executed. I took my first bite. Pure heaven and a bit of hell. It was extremely HOT! Not spicy hot, but temperature hot. I nearly spit it across the bar. After I heeded my mom’s advice from early on and let it cool, it was sheer pleasure. While it cooled, I delved into the chicken tenders. Now, I am not picky about chicken tenders. It is just deep-fried chicken. But these were over-cooked. They were crunchy and honestly had no taste. Perhaps that is why they give you three dipping sauces. The BBQ sauce is made in-house and OMG, the epitome of smokey sweetness. I think I drank that stuff. After eating, I noticed a very attractive woman enter and introduce herself to the hot guy next to me, “You must be Patrick, I am Darla.”
Sure, this isn’t really food related, but I found it entertaining. She mentioned that he looked better in person than his facebook pictures. Yes, my friends, I was privy to an internet date. Oh how times have changed. Remember my last article about profiling people by what they drink? Well she ordered a Sapphire martini up with four olives. Yes, obviously a strong woman who knows exactly what she wants. He ordered, remember, a margarita. He didn’t mention the tequila brand. I think this could be a match made in heaven as he is relaxed and will allow her to be the ‘top’ in their budding relationship. Icon Grill, bring your facebook dates here!
