The Movies Column: Big Mommas, Hunks, and more

Will you drag yourself out of the house to catch a movie this President’s Day Weekend? Or will you stay out of the cold with a stack of Netflix? Here’s what’s playing in Seattle.

New Releases

Whoop, there it is--seriously they go there.

Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son, dir. John Whitesell, starring Martin Lawrence and Brandon T. Jackson. What the world needs now—it’s not love, sweet love. It’s more black comedians dressing like fat women. People just can’t get enough of the likes of Big Momma, Medea or the Nutty Professor. This time around Martin Lawrence teams up with his son, going undercover at an all-girls school for the performing arts. If only Big Momma showed up in Black Swan, that would have been a twist ending. Truthfully this film should be stupidly hilarious, but the tired one-liners and slap-stick from the trailer do not give much hope. However, watching Big Momma do the booty shake on a cafeteria table is instant comedy. I dare you to watch the trailer while at work. (Regal Meridian, 1501 7th Ave, 12:20, 2:45, 5:15, 7:45 and 10:15)

Alex Pettyfer--fresh off the hunk farm.

I Am Number 4, dir. D.J. Caruso, starring Alex Pettyfer, Timothy Olyphant and Dianna Agron. Where do the studios keep finding these new hunks? It seems like every week there’s some new hunk taking his shirt off on Ellen or on the cover of Details. (See also Channing Tatum, Jamie Bell, Garrett Hedlund, Chris Evans, etc.) Alex Pettyfer is this week’s new hunk offering. Is there some kind of hunk farm down in the outskirts of Los Angeles? None of this new crop has turned into break-out stars yet, but that hasn’t kept the studios from throwing more at the wall each week until something sticks. We’ll just see what happens when Captain America and Thor are released later this year.  The film is about a secret experiment on attractive white people with perfect hair or something. Who cares? (Regal Meridian, 1501 7th Ave, 12:30, 2, 3, 4:30, 5:30, 7, 8, 9:30 and 10:30 p.m.; Landmark Metro, 4500 9th Ave NE, 1:30, 4:15, 7:10 and 9:45 p.m.)

Also opening this weekend is the respectable-looking Unknown, dir. Jaume Collet-Serra, starring Liam Neeson, Diane Kruger and January Jones. (Regal Meridian, 1501 7th Ave, 12, 1:30, 2:30, 4, 5, 6:30, 7:30, 9 and 10 p.m.; Cinerama 2100 4th Ave, 2, 4:45, 7:30 and 10:15 p.m.)

Seattle Screenings

Bruce Campbell in full-on zombie defense mode

Central Cinema will give you a double dose of zombie gore with Evil Dead (1981), and Evil Dead 2 (1987) at 7 and 9:30 respectively. If you watch both back to back you may think you’re experiencing déjà vu. Then on Wednesday the Sam Raimi-Bruce Campbell zombie trilogy is completed with Army of Darkness (1992), presented in Quote-along. On Monday get your fill of bimbos, valley girls and hunky aliens when Bad Movie Art presents Earth Girls Are Easy (1988). Highlights are a rare appearance by LA icon Angeline, an exploding microwave and original music by MTV’s Julie Brown. Don’t miss it! (Central Cinema, 1411 21st Ave)

Northwest Film Forum presents an Oscar nominated live action short from Poland and Germany, Rabbit à la Berlin, dir. Bartek Konopka and Piotr Rosolowski. The film tells the true story of the Berlin Wall  from the perspective of the rabbits who thrived in the no-man’s land between East and West. The trailer will haunt you with the juxtaposition of cute bunnies and sound of machine gun fire.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=65uV_LnxcL0

The short film screens with When Herons Dream by Serge Gregory. (Northwest Film Forum, 1515 12th Ave, 7 and 9 p.m.)

Raiders of the Lost Ark: the Adaptation

Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981) and Raiders of the Lost Ark: Adaptation (1989). The Adaptation has to be seen to be believed. A group of children in the late 80s painstakingly recreated the entire Steven Spielberg-Harrison Ford classic using their parents’ home video camera. The funniest part is how characters go through puberty during the shooting of the film, starting out as tiny children and suddenly sprouting into tall teenagers between scenes. (SIFF Cinema, 321 Mercer St, 7 p.m., Adaptation at 9:30 p.m.)

You won’t want to miss all the Seattle scenery in 10 Things I Hate About You (1999) starring Heath Ledger and Julia Stiles, which is the Egyptian midnight movie this weekend. (The Egyptian, 805 E Pine St, midnight)

Ryan Hicks is Development Manager for Three Dollar Bill Cinema, presenting the best in queer cinema and producers of the Seattle Lesbian and Gay Film Festival. Get your Oscars on and support Three Dollar Bill Cinema and Gay City at Cinerama Sunday, February 27.