Two years ago the Scissor Sisters played the Showbox in the Market. It was a sweaty, sexy, wonderful time and luckily, I was invited by a friend to the after party/Jake’s Birthday Party at Barca. You should know that I am a Scissor Sisters super fan and that Jake Shears and David Bowie were my “free passes” when I was with my ex. You probably know the conversation that every couple has: “If I meet (insert celebrity name) and they want to have sex with me, sorry babe but it’s going to happen and you can’t be mad about it“. Well, that particular night didn’t end the way I had hoped and Jake Shears politely, after about a hour of me molesting him, stopped me and kindly put his hands on my shoulders and asked me to stop touching him and leave him alone for the night. My Stalker Dreams crushed, I avoided him for the rest of the evening and since then, I’ve been aching for another chance to cash in my free celebrity sex pass.
Now that’s out of the way, let‘s talk about the Scissor Sister’s most recent show at the Showbox SoDo on September 15th. I absofuckinglutely loved every second of it! Casey Spooner, of Fischerspooner fame, opened the show crooning to the crowd in a stunning grey three piece suit and was the ideal opening act for the ‘Sisters’ many of them also fans of Casey and Fischerspooner. Their interest primed, the sold out show was crazy before the Scissor Sisters even stepped onto the stage. Jake, Ana, Baby Daddy, Del…they were…well they were all just Pure Sex. Jake was wearing a Cher-esque hand me down; a skin-tight, leather get up that left little to the imagination. Ana sported a fabulous leather royal blue dress and perfect 50’s style orange hair…DAMN, they were dripping sex…literally, they were sopping wet. It seemed like they didn’t stop moving the whole damn show. The old favorite’s were covered; “Take your mama out”, “I don’t feel like dancing” and they had a healthy selection from their most recent release, Night Work. I got to say it, I love their new stuff: “Fire with Fire”, “Invisible Light”, “Skin Tight” , “Night Work”…I can’t stop stay saying it: PURE SEX! The whole show was just sex, sex, sexy! Ana entertained us with her trademark wit and Jake’s shimmering and bouncing about made the place go insane. One of the best show’s I’ve seen in quite awhile and probably the best Scissor Sisters show I’ve seen. But, my best friend and I got a head’s up about an After Hours Party with the band and we left a little early to guarantee we’d get in. The band announced the party would be at the Can Can just about the time we jumped in our cab.
The Can Can was dead when my friend and I arrived and at this point we are shirtless, drunk and decided that food was needed to sober us up a bit. So, we left the Can Can and went to Il Bistro across the street to get something to eat. Sitting down in the restaurant, still shirtless and still drunk, the waitress asked us what we needed. We needed all the small plates they had…like six of them! Surprisingly, she informs us that to get the food at happy hour price we need to order a cocktail…remember, we are OBVIOUSLY shirtless and OBVIOUSLY drunk. (I guess a little over-serving never hurt anyone, right?) We scarf down the food, finish the drinks and as we head back to the Can Can, I stupidly decided to text my boyfriend and invite him; he hadn’t gone to the show and I thought he might have fun at the after party. When we get back to the Can Can it has started filling up and the excitement is building. Within thirty minutes the place is packed. Gay’s gone wild, dancing on the stage shirtless, making out with who ever; I swear that the Liquid Sex dripping off the band at the concert must have splashed all over the crowd, because naughtiness was happening EVERYWHERE…
The band, (minus Ana Matronic), arrived at the party, flanked by Dan Savage of The Stranger and what seemed like the whole damn audience from the show somewhere between midnight and one, (you’ll have to forgive me, I was a bit tipsy at this point and don’t recall the exact time.) Jake Shears and band mates, along with the other VIP’s had front row vantage seats to the craziness that was happening on stage. Shirtless boys dancing, getting sweaty and making out with Boys, Girls or Whatever else they can get their hands/mouths on. It was a good mix of people…a girl in a silver sequin dresss and a bright red wig was right there getting wild with the gay boys on stage; fun was being had by all parties concerned. But, for the most part, no one at the after party was too crazy…DRUNK, sure, but there weren’t any problems. I heard a few phone numbers were flung at Mr. Shears as the band mingled with the fans, and the ‘Sisters’ had a few drink and wound down from a pretty strenuous show but for the most part, they stayed out of the party happening around them.
But, then things got REALLY weird when my boyfriend walked into the club while I’m on stage shirtlessly making out with my best, “like my brother” friend and it’s perfectly innocent, but I freely admit it’s full on smuttiness on my part. Needless to say, my boyfriend and I broke up that night. He was really pissed and I ended up sleeping on my friend’s floor. I felt like hell the next day and still feel horrible for embarassing him at the party. We’ve made up since then, and we decided that maybe friendship is probably a better relationship for us than being “a couple”.
Over all, the show and the after party were perfectly amazing…minus the breakup with my boyfriend part of the evening. So, the next time you see Jake Shears please let him know he owes me a boyfriend. A show that sexy should come with the disclaimer, “You are now entering Sex, Leave your boyfriend at home, otherwise we’ll destroy your relationship.”
Thank you, ‘Sisters’…come back soon, and next time you’re in town, someone in the band owes me a date.
Photos by JonasFiel
Text-Brad Crelia
