Seattle Eagle Vs. The WSLCB (The Washington State Liquor Control Board
Under recent heat and scrutiny from the WSLCB (again), The Eagle and it’s patrons have reached their limit, and it’s time to fight back.
(Excerpt from the Stranger, by Christopher Frizelle)
“…As Matt Luby reported in The Stranger on November 11 (“Liquor Officers Gone Wild”), Richey and Stitt paid a visit to the Eagle on October 23 and saw something so egregious that they issued a $500 violation for “lewd conduct” to the owner of the Eagle, Keith Christensen. The infraction was a video with “a close-up of a man’s lubricated, erect penis as the subject masturbated,” according to the WSLCB’s 13-page report on the incident.
While it’s ridiculous that we live in a state where one perfectly legal thing (pornography) and another perfectly legal thing (alcohol) add up to an illegal thing—next thing you know, drunk people could want to have sex!—what’s more ridiculous is that whether a bar gets a warning or a fine is entirely up to an officer’s discretion. That explains why, when an enforcement officer did a premises check of Cyclops in Belltown in October and observed “three intoxicated patrons” being “overserved” as well as a male patron sitting in a booth “rubbing a female’s crotch,” Cyclops got off with mere warnings but no fines. When an enforcement officer visited Wayne’s Inn Bar & Grill in Puyallup in May of this year, the officer observed two female patrons “caressing and exposing breasts,” and Wayne’s Inn got off with a warning…
…After trying to comply with rules and getting dinged anyway, the Eagle and nightlife promoter Kevin Kauer are starting a new monthly night called The Seattle Eagle vs. the Liquor Control Board. The first one’s on December 11, with performances by Lisa Dank, a bunch of DJs, and screenings of exploitation films of the 1970s from Australia (“Stuff like strapping a girl to a car with no top on and running the car at top speed”).”
While the WSLCB has a positive outlook on the reduction of alcohol-related incidents (their ‘realistic’ goal is by 2030 there will be zero alcohol-related accidents….are they going to take the alcohol out of alcohol?) their current enforcement is archaic and a monopoly for the state. However, is the liquor control board also in charge of sexual accidents? Have the censor bars and bleeps have jumped right out of your TV and into your life?
“To get a sense of how broad the discretion is, take a look at some more aspects of the relevant state code. According to the first section, licensees “may not allow, permit, or encourage employees” to expose all sorts of private parts, including the “cleft of the buttocks.” Next time you are in a bar and the owner does not tell the barback with his butt crack showing to cover it up, you should call the WSLCB, they just broke the law.
According to the second section, licensees “may not allow, permit, or encourage any person… on the licensed premises” to touch, caress, or fondle the “breast, buttocks, anus or genitals.” Next time you are in a bar and the owner does not stop a guy from fondling his girlfriend’s ass, call the WSLCB, they just broke the law.
And according to the third section, licensees may not encourage anyone on the premises to “Wear or use any device or covering that is exposed to view which simulates the breast, genitals, anus, pubic hair, or any portion thereof.” So next time someone draw boobs on their shirt with a sharpie and the bar owner does not stop them, call the WSLCB, they just broke the law.”
So not only is the WSLCB in control of our purchasing and consumption privileges and our libidos, it is also up to their own personal judgement. So when the LCB officers walk into a straight bar, where breasts are falling out all over the place, and people are (goddess-forbid) touching each other and being over-served and over-stimulated, they get off without a problem, but when an officer walks into a (gasp) GAY bar, where there is pre-approved (yes, someone from the WSLCB got paid to watch all the Eagle’s gay erotica and stamp its approval) ‘porn’ on the television, with a few gay men sitting around chatting, they get cited a $500 fine. Why? Well if it is left up to their judgement, they don’t mind seeing a few titties flying around but, a penis? GASP! Take it away! Too debaucherous, too crazy, the world is ending! Mind you, if you’ve ever been to The Eagle on a normal weekday it is certainly not out of control.
Ever popped on a rated R movie as a kid and your dad walked in and turned it off, how frustrating right? Well, you were 8 years old and he’s your dad, so that’s fair. Oh but now, that you are 21, 22, 30, 39, or hell even if you’re 70 years old, you still have a dad. I was in attendance for one specific scenario, where Capitol Hill’s most notorious DAD Officer O’Neil (who I only see step into gay/queer events to do his policing) walked into a Hard Times (as he did, EVERY week, to cause some disturbance) and demanded the projections be turned off. What was playing? Pink Flamingos, by John Waters, mind you on a John Waters THEMED night. Yes, you are not allowed to like John Waters in public people, this is the world Seattle lives in. Mind you, Officer O’Neil is getting paid a handsome salary to walk around enforcing his homophobic ‘personal judgement’ while club promoters and bar owners are hitting rock bottom and being evicted/shut down left and right because of this constant policing.
On top of that, can ANYONE give me a good reason for this censorship? I’m pretty sure at 18 I was allowed to go pick up a porn magazine at the gas station down the street, then at 21 I was able to walk into a bar… but to mix the two is illegal? To say it is to censor the virgin eyes of the public is inane, no one who walks into the Eagle has virgin anything, and it is attended for a reason, the same way a 5-star restaurant is ambient and classy, it is up to the business owner to implement an establishments image, and it is what makes each place individual and unique, and why one place is chosen over another. Without that here might as well be ONE bar, the size of 4 city blocks, all white with nothing on the walls, run by the LCB and only open until 7pm. If a business can no longer have it’s own personality, soon neither will you.
Well the fight back beings this Saturday, using power in numbers, sexuality and freedom of speech and expression move to the front of the bus again. Yes, we’ll knock a few back (since were still allowed to do that), dance it up and have a good time thanks to some appropriately named DJ’s, and Seattle’s hustlin’ pop diva Lisa Dank, but we’ll also be showing our nice big collective F-U to this state’s ridiculous current law structure. Plenty of information will available on-hand Saturday night letting you know how you can do your part, but coming together as one is the first step.
So come to the Eagle, Saturday night (12/11/10), wear whatever the eff you want, and get ready to dickslap Seattle, hard.
Join in on this discussion here, and make your voice heard on The Stranger.
But most importantly, contact the WSLCB directly and let them know how you feel.
WSLCB Contact Information
– Nark
