The Movies Column: Michelle Rodriguez Dons a Military Uniform Yet Again—Good Luck This Time!

Michelle Rodriguez: Will she make it to the credits this time?

Battle: Los Angeles, directed by Jonathan Liebesman, starring Aaron Ekhart, Michelle Rodriguez, and Bridget Moynahan. In this action flick aliens have just attacked the planet earth’s most important city, and a rag tag military gets recruited to deal with it. No war movie cliché goes unused. New Title: Hey everybody, let’s watch America’s favorite rumored to be Latina dykon get killed again in another action block buster! (Editor’s Note: Ms Rodriguez recently announced she likes the “pole” and not the “hole” but skeptics remain…) (Regal Meridian, 1501 7th Ave, 12, 12:50, 1:40, 2:40, 3:30, 4:20, 5:20, 6:10, 7, 8, 8:50, 9:50, and 10:40 p.m.; Landmark Metro, 4500 9th Ave. NE, 1:10, 4:10, 7, and 9:45 p.m.)

Red Riding Hood, directed by Catherine Hardwicke (Twilight, Thirteen), starring Amanda Seyfried, Lukas Haas, and Gary Oldman. Every critic has called out this movie’s shameless attempt to copy Twilight’s box office success. From the brooding wolf man, the emotional (yet perfectly chaste) love triangle, and a sulking beautiful heroine this film couldn’t be a more obvious copy cat. (Regal Meridian, 1501 7th Ave, 12:10, 1, 2:30, 3:20, 4:50, 5:50, 7:10, 8:10, 9:40, and 10:30 p.m.; Landmark Metro, 4500 9th Ave. NE, 1:20, 4:50, 7:15, and 9:40 p.m.)

Also opening this weekend: Mars Needs Moms, directed by Simon Wells, starring voices of Seth Green, Joan Cusack and Dan Fogler. Take the kids. (AMC Pacific Place, 600 Pine S, 11:20 a.m., 1:30, 3:50, 6:10, 8:25, and 10:35 p.m.; Landmark Metro, 4500 9th Ave NE, 12:45, 2:50, 5, 7:05, and 9:15 p.m.)

Seattle Screenings

Catherine Deneuve: Still bangin' at 67.

The Feminine Wiles of Catherine Deneuve. (SIFF Cinema, 321 Mercer St.) This weekend is your opportunity to check out four fabulous films from the Grand Dame of French Cinema, aka the most beautiful woman in the world (according to Roger Vadim*), aka masturbation fodder for everybody from Roman Polanski to Susan Sarandon. She is just the best. Saturday is also the preview screening for her new one, François Ozon’s Potiche, where she plays a 1970s era trophy wife to a wealthy industrialist who becomes a beloved community organizer and local politician. (The anti-Palin). This is a must see. Here are the details: Dancer in the Dark (2000) directed by Lars von Trier (Friday, 7:30 p.m.); Belle du Jour (1967) directed by Luis Buñuel (Saturday, 1 p.m.); 8 Women (2002) directed by François Ozon (Saturday, 3 p.m.); Potiche (2010) directed by François Ozon (Saturday, 7:30 p.m.)

*To be fair, Vadim called Deneuve one of three most beautiful women in the world. The other two are Brigitte Bardot and Jane Fonda, which makes pretty good company.

Cold Weather (2010) directed by Aaron Katz (Quiet City, Dance Party USA) The latest from indie-sensation and Portland native Aaron Katz, whose thoughtful moody films inspired the name mumblecore for the new American film movement, is a mystery about a missing girlfriend filmed on location in Portland, Canon Beach and the Dalles.
(Northwest Film Forum, 1515 12th Ave, Friday-Thursday, 7 and 9:15 p.m.)

Tura Satana: Bad ass in a Betty Page hair cut

Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! (1965) directed by Russ Meyer, starring Tura Satana, Haji, and Lori Williams. Finally, a theater in Seattle is playing tribute to the passing of Tura Satana, this film’s star. The Japanese American Satana worked as a go-go dancer before being discovered by Russ Meyer. She was also a master of karate and tai kwon do, which she used to get revenge on the four men who gang raped her when she was a child. Tura, the world just got a whole lot less bad ass without you here. (Central Cinema, Friday-Sunday, 9:30 p.m.)

The Last Starfighter (1984) directed by Nick Castle, starring Lance Guest and Catherine Mary Stewart. Alonside Disney’s TRON, this film pioneered computer generated animation to stand in for models and moving film cameras. Both films are also about young people transported into video games. That was a hot topic in 1984. Good thing Hollywood isn’t making movies based on video games any more. (Central Cinema, 1411 21st Ave, Friday-Sunday, 7 p.m.; Monday, 9:30 p.m.; Tuesday, 7 p.m.; Wednesday, 10 p.m.)

The Beastmaster: Working the loin cloth

The Beastmaster (1982) directed by Don Coscarelli, starring Marc Singer, Tanya Roberts and Rip Torn. Bad Movie Art’s March feature is one that most children of the 80s know dearly. Marc Singer plays a barbarian in a skimpy loin cloth. He can communicate with all animals from the ferocious black tiger to Podo and Codo, two adorable ferrets. The ditzy Tanya Roberts plays his scantily clad love interest. This film played on heavy rotation on early cable programming, which is likely where most fans became familiar with the movie. According to Wikipedia, there was a brief moment when TBS was known as The Beastmaster Station and HBO was Hey, Beastmaster’s On! Make sure to check out the awesome Bad Movie Art poster here. (Central Cinema, Monday, 7 p.m.)

Nine to Five (1980) directed by Colin Higgins, starring Jane Fonda, Lily Tomlin, Dolly Parton and Dabney Coleman. In the late 1970s early 1980s you could create a comedy about women’s lib and it would become a huge hit. I miss those days. The film follows three secretaries (at least two of which are played by lesbians) in their plan to take down their male-chauvinist boss. Hollywood would never touch a movie like this today. (Central Cinema, Wednesday, 7 p.m.)

Also screening at Central Cinema: Leprechaun in the Hood (2000) directed by Rob Spera, starring Warwick Davis and Ice-T. Celebrate St. Patrick’s Day watching a terrible terrible movie. (Central Cinema, Thursday, 8 p.m.)

Dogtooth (2009) directed by Giorgos Lanthimos. During the Oscars you might have caught a few clips of this film before the foreign language category was announced. The image of a man attacking a house cat with a pair of hedge clippers definitely got my interest perked. This film from Greece, didn’t win the Oscar, possibly because it looks really freaking weird.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFtDzK64-pk
(Grand Illusion, 1403 NE 50th St, 7 and 9 p.m.)

The Goonies (1985) directed by Richard Donner, starring Sean Astin, Josh Brolin, Corey Feldman, Steve Antin, and Martha Plimpton. Every time Goonies plays at the Egyptian midnight movie an angel does the truffle shuffle. (Landmark Egyptian, 805 East Pine St., Friday and Saturday, midnight)

Awesome poster for an awesome movie

Bunny Lake Is Missing (1965) directed by Otto Preminger, starring Keir Dullea, Carol Lynley, and Laurence Olivier. The final film in SAM’s Art of Living Otto Preminger film festival is a psychological thriller about a young mother (Lynley) whose child goes missing on a trip to England. However, when she reports the crime no one believes that her daughter ever existed. She and her brother (Dullea) team up to solve the mysterious disappearance. Highly recommended. (Seattle Art Museum, Plestcheeff Auditorium, 1300 1st Ave, Thursday, 7:30 p.m.)

Ryan Hicks is Development Manager for Three Dollar Bill Cinema. Velvet Goldmine, Our Fourth Annual Dinner & Auction is March 25th. Then keep your eyes peeled for OUTLAW: Three Dollar Bill Cinema’s Spring Film Series in April.