The Filthy “Mistletomosexuals” Will Be Invading Capitol Hill Bars…SQUEE!

Yes indeeedy…it’s the time of year for Egg Nog, 1200 gay holiday shows and most importantly of all, The Third Annual March of the Mistletomosexuals, the delightfully dirty homosexually inclined bar crawl that grew out of “Santarchy” a few years back courtesy of some enterprising local event planners including The Eagle’s beloved “Bucket”, Mr. Scott Britt. This year’s deliciously drunken march through the speakeasies of Capitol Hill is happening tonight, Saturday, December 21, 2013 and it begins at 9 pm at C.C. Attle’s before moving on to the Pike/Pine corridor at 10 pm with Lobby being the primary meet up spot, and Purr, Diesel, Madison Pub and Pony available as back up venues. The Cuff is the Midnight meeting spot followed by wrapping things up at the western end of Pike/Pine at The Seattle Eagle, where DJ Pavone’s monthly party SCORE is happening complete with go go boys and stiff….drinks. Oh, and the return of beloved Seattle DJ Tony Radovich!

A holiday themed costume is required…many folks seem to gravitate toward wearing long johns, aka a red “Union” suit…that’s a wee bit lazy, (though understandable in chilly weather) but you should jazz/jizz it up as much as possible. And, everyone wants to know WHERE you can buy red long johns…the consensus seems to be that the Army/Navy Surplus Store at 2112 1st Ave is the cheapest option…

Here’s all the info you need to know from the Facebook invite. Have fun, play safe and figure out a good place to put those keys/ID in that skimpy ass costume!

It’s Seattle’s gay version of Santarchy/Santacon. It’s a Santa-themed bar crawl, with awesome costumes, Santas, misfit toys, and more FUN than you can shake a candy cane at!

Here’s a brief lowdown on the ho-ho-hoedown:

A general schedule:
The plan is to begin massing around 9:00 pm at CC Attle’s. CC’s is big enough to hold most, if not all of us. From there, we’ll begin our march on Broadway to the Pike-Pine corridor around 10 pm. Hopefully, most of us can fit in the Lobby Bar. The overflow can wander up the Hill to patronize Diesel, Madison Pub, Purr, and Pony; these are small establishments, so feel free to pick one. The goal is to meet back up again at the Cuff around midnight. Many may choose to hang out at the Cuff for the rest of the night, with others rolling down the hill to the Eagle, and maybe some wandering to the Baltic Room.

Some general RULES:
FIRST: Wear a costume. The “true” Santacon/Santarchy uniform is a Santa suit. The March of the Mistletomosexuals is “gay Santarchy,” so our group is naturally more creative and definitely more flamboyant. Wear lights, tinsel, and GLITTER! Be a reindeer, or an elf, if you want. Heck, be a Grinch, if you like. SIMPLY WEARING A SANTA HAT IS NOT ACCEPTABLE (unless you’re otherwise nearly naked.) Not wearing a full costume is lame and we will NOT let you play our reindeer games.

SECOND: Yes, it’s “Santarchy,” but we are by no means anarchists. Please behave responsibly.
1. BRING YOUR I.D. You will not be allowed in a bar without proper identification.
2. Santa is not cheap. You WILL PAY any bar cover charges and you WILL NOT complain.
3. You will be courteous to the public. Feel free to bring candy to give to people you meet on the street. No drunken disorderliness, please.
4. At any location, we’ll linger just long enough for one quick drink. Stay with your group when they shove off to another welcoming watering ho-ho-hole.
5. If a bar is too crowded, go with a group to another one.
6. Bring enough cash to take a cab home.

THIRD: It’s sad to need to mention this last bit, but due to recent incidents on the Hill, PLEASE do not get tipsy and walk around alone. Stay in a group. When the night is over, don’t walk back to your car or home alone. (If you’re tipsy, call a cab.) Everyone’s goal is to get home safe, alone, or with one or more Santas!
FOURTH: Be outgoing. Have FUN. SING! CHANT! CHEER! Get yourself on the naughty list (in a good way.)