The P.I. (yes, they still exist…online with SUPER annoying pop-up ads…) is reporting that Mittel America’s favorite addict/actor Charlie Sheen is bringing his “My Violent Torpedo of Truth: Defeat is Not an Option” live show to Everett’s Comcast Arena on May 3rd. Area prostitutes, porn stars and drug dealers are tingly with anticipation at the prospects of a sudden boost to their bank accounts, (an envelope under their stained mattresses) in early May. Meanwhile, area parents plan on taking their nubile daughters out of town.
We’re not going to make much comment on this because frankly, it’s rather sad and disgusting that many folks are enabling a man with severe addiction and mental health issues. Also, the whole, “Charlie Sheen is a shitty actor” thing.
For those of you who enjoy train wrecks, tickets go on sale next Saturday at 10am and his other stops on his national tour have sold out very quickly. Ticket prices range from $49.50 to $575, (no, that’s not a typo) which includes a “meet n grope” with Charlie (“Ladies” only…the trashier, the better.)
Hell, for $5.75 you can arrange for some crazy drag addict on First Avenue spend an entire afternoon following you around dropping “Truth Bombs”….though, it costs a lot more than that to get rid of them.
My only Charlie Sheen anecdote consists of a date I had in 1986 which consisted of a viewing of the shitty and overrated Oliver Stone movie Platoon where both my date and I fell asleep because the movie really, really sucks and Charlie Sheen really never did anything for me, or any other gay man I know. Do any of you think he was ever “hot”? I mean, now he looks like a methed out old scrotum, but even in his “Salad Days” he just never rang MY bell. Personally, any man who hangs out with hookers is probably a bad lover in my book…if you have to pay people to have sex with you, you probably suck in the sack…