A Taste of Freedom

My First Car
This week on the Internet the question came up what was your first car? It was around this time of year when I first started driving on my own. Cars have always represented freedom and a means of escape. When it finally came time for me to get my license at 16 I had earned my Eagle and all three palms in scouts, been practicing driving since I was twelve and learned to drive a clutch. The car I got to drive was my Dad’s 73 Corolla. It had sport stripes, FM radio and manual clutch. During my first years of driving I managed to high center the car in the canyon, safely stop the car after losing the breaks coming down the very step University hill, and pamper the sick clutch that was going out until I could get home. It was cute, kind of sporty and very dependable. My friends and I would use it to “get away from it all”. This included taking the car to concerts, hanging out in parking lots playing and dancing to our new wave music, and generally cruising main street – people watching. That Corolla was a trooper, as the kid car it was passed down from kid to kid until it finally was used as a trade in for another car for my sister. Amazing because it still ran with over 300 thousand miles and lots rusted out body parts.

Murray State Fair

While growing up Logan, Utah I always had a hard time fitting in. High school was pretty miserable. I did not fit into the norm and got a lot of flak for it. In the summer of 84’ my Mother signed me up for a bicycle maintenance class. It was 2 weeks long and was at the end of summer. The class was in Murray Utah a suburb of Salt Lake City. I figured it would be good knowledge to use and I would be able to rebuild a bike completely after the class was done. This trip was a chance to get away from the small town Logan where I felt weird and alone. Family schedule at home was very controlled and structured. This class would be an experience a bit of freedom. I stayed with family friends so it was not too much of a risk but the family I was going to be staying with had kids a bit older than me and a bit more edgy. The older boy in the family was also quite athletic and pretty popular with a big group of friends. He lived the kind of high school life that I really desired. He was also very cute and liked to wear tight t shirts and tight jeans. I had a slight crush on him. I don’t remember his name so I will call him Tony.

The many weeks of the class went fast and the days where filled with new information. The classes where cool and the attention from Tony was definitely very cool. I was actually getting greasy and dirty and I liked it. In the evenings after diner we kids would be able to go off and have some free time. During this time the City fair was in full motion.  So after the classes and the evening, Tony would put on his crop top t-shirt and tight jeans and he and I would take off to the fair to “hang out”. It was the first time in my high school years where I could go and be someone without any history. I was the new kid, a fresh slate. Tony gave me a few pointers before we went out. “Walk like you know where you are going and don’t look the carnies in the eye. They will leave you alone.” It was really the first time I was able to go out unsupervised to an “Adult event” it was pretty amazing. So I wore my coolest clothes and Tony took me to the city fair. We walked through the games and rides and Tony meet up with a few of his friends. It was an amazing feeling not worrying if anyone was going to call me names and being completely anonymous with the crowd. All of Tony’s friends seemed so nice and excepting.  We all hung out and I really felt a part of things. It was an amazing feeling.

We all gathered in an empty field to watch the fireworks. Tony did this every year with his friends. We all hung out feeling cool and being by ourselves and feeling very adult. The reason the field was empty is because it had been closed off by the park because of the fall out that happened from the fireworks. So the trick was you had to watch for falling debris. So not only did we get to see the fireworks from an amazing angle but we also had watch for falling ash. It was a magical experience. Living on the edge and feeling excepted. It was this summer that helped me get through the last hard year of high school in the small town in Logan. From this summer I learned that Logan was the exception and the rest of the world out there could really be accepting and affirming if I let it. So when the season for State Fairs comes around I remember those magical evenings and those first feelings of experiencing life like it was meant to be.