YIPES! It’s the HoliGay Season and there are a buttload of events to choose from!

Apparently, Betty White likes the looks of Dina's chicken...finger suckin' GOOD!!!

Mary Stuart Masterson, there are a hugeass variety of HoliGay events gearing up for your Seasonal Pleasures, some of them old favorites and some of them new, and we need to go over EACH AND EVERY ONE!!! (Shit, I’m tired already…)

The Spudds (Euomi and Wynotta) Peggy Platt (l.), Lisa Koch (r.) Photo by Heather Trimm

Old Favorites #1: The divine funny ladies of Dos Fallopia, Lisa Koch and Peggy Platt are BAAAAACK for another year of “Ham for the Holidays” their annual holiday show now in its 48th year! Join Ms Koch and Ms Platt and their comedic company (DJ Gommels and Michael Oaks) as they revisit many of their favorite characters including the Sequim Gay Men’s Chorus and mother/daughter country western duo The Spudd’s plus plenty of new sketches as well, including a new holiday special with the Bachmann Family; FUN! It all goes down at Theatre Off Jackson in the International District Wednesday’s thru Sundays, now through December 24 and it’s “family” fun for the entire family except for your uptight sister in law Marcelline who admires the Bachmann’s….Screw her!

Old Favorites #2: For her One Trillionth Anniversary Show, the iconical/moronical diva, Dina Martina returns to Seattle for her annual rape of Christmas classics in “The Dina Martina Christmas Show” at “Re-bar Place”.  Fresh off yet another successful summer run in Provincetown and gigs in New York and elsewhere, the rising starlet returns to The Emerald City with deadpan sidekick/pianist Chris Jeffries and her “Bag of Jifts”. Despite the fact the show routinely sells out; has a $20 price tag; and 234 performances in the next 5 weeks, (show runs through New Year’s Eve) Ms Martina (aka Grady West) is selling his priceless art collection to raise funds for a new shack house in Seattle. We still want all of his art but can’t afford it, so we’ll make do by going to the opening night show and staring at Ms Martina instead…but, not in the front row. We did that last year and it scared the hell out of us…love the Martina but up close and personal, she is TERRIFYING!

The entire cast of "Homo for the Holidays 2011". Prepare to be hugely entertained.

A slightly newer tradition, (only 22 years old) is “Homo for the Holidays”, the brainchild of beloved fairy princess BenDeLaCreme and her cohorts, the burlyque star, Kitten LaRue and comedy/dance team, Cherdonna & Lou back for another travesty of all our Yuletide Treasured Classics. Expect visits from Jinkx Monsoon and Major Scales, Fuchsia FoXXX, ilvs strauss, (aka “Jesus”) Faggedy Randy, and beefcake daddy singing sensation Jimmy Longwell! It’s ridiculous amounts of well produced holiday fun with HIGH production values and the purdiest costumes in town… But, you have to wait a bit for it; this year “Homo” isn’t starting its run until December 10 and runs until Xmas Eve, with two shows that night.

If “Ham for the Holiday’s” Sequim Gay Men’s Chorus sketch is up your alley, then you’ll definitely have to make your way to a slightly larger men’s chorus this season….The Seattle Men’s Chorus is prepping their annual holiday show at Benaroya Hall (and elsewhere) and this year’s title is “Cool Yule: The Big Band Theory” featuring some of your favorite songs as well as a parody of your favorite show about nerds. And, the opening weekend features guest star, actress Megan Hilty. The SMC performs nine shows in Seattle from November 26 to December 23, with additional performances in Tacoma at the Pantages on December 15 and at the Everett Civic Auditorium on December 17.

Left to right, Nick Garrison, Jennifer Paz and Sarah Rudinoff star in the 5th Avenue's production of Rodgers & Hammerstein's "Cinderella" now through December 31. Photo: 5th Avenue Theatre.

Meanwhile, the 5th Avenue Theatre is also getting into the holiday spirit with their usual family fun musical offering…only this year, things are a bit…queer. This year’s treat is Rodgers & Hammerstein’s “Cinderella”, the very familiar story of a certain rags to riches princess but tarted up with delightful songs…AND, per a certain tradition, the Wicked Stepmother and Stepsisters are performed with a certain Camp Appeal and a tip of the hat to traditional British holiday pantomimes with the casting of a man as one of the stepsisters. Beloved Seattle thespian, Nick Garrison is back in drag as one of the nasty bitches, with his frequent pal/co-star the divine Sarah Rudinoff as his partner in crime. We went and had a LOVELY chat with both of them and cutey pie director Brandon Ivie conducted by our own divine Mark Finley…it’ll be posted SOON, but it’s proving to be a pain to edit. There’s a LOT of overlapping yakkety yak in the video and it’s TOUGH to edit around all those divas talking at once! Cinderella opens November 25 and runs through December 31. Check out the 5th Avenue website for some special offers for shows with discount pricing. It should be Wicked fun for everyone!

Pshew…that’s enough for now. We’ll have another post about short run/one night holiday shows soon…Also, don’t forget the perennial offerings The Nutcracker at PNB; A Christmas Carol at ACT; Black Nativity at The Moore and many more traditions all over town. Sadly, one tradition seems to be dead, for now…Open Circle Theater died this year, and with it apparently, “The Judy Garland Christmas Special” starring Troy Mink as Ms Garland…we’re hoping someone will resurrect it for next year.