Miz Honey Bucket’s “connie” is hungry for some “Dickslappin'” at the Seattle Eagle tonight. Jimi Jaxon and Nark will be makin’ the music.

Seattle’s premiere Aurora Ave hooker/entertainer du jour, the lovely and orally talented Miz Honey Bucket will be the special guest hostess at tonight’s DICKSLAP at The Seattle Eagle. (And, by tonight, I mean FRIDAY, JANUARY 17, 2014…)

Jimi Jaxon is the Guest DJ…it’s a NARK MAGAZINE event, so Meester Nark will be spinnin’ as well. There will be young, furry men in the “cage” debasing themselves. Jell-O shots…photography by Miz Rachel…you get the drill.

Oh, and Miz Honey will be giving away TWO pairs of tickets to go see RUPAUL’S DRAG RACE: BATTLE OF THE SEASONS, hosted by Michelle Visage and starring the following ‘hobags: Sharon Needles, Alaska Thunderfuck, Pandora Boxx, Ivy Winters, Manilla Luzon, Carmen Carerra, Willam, and Detox. I think all these tramps have been to Seattle before, some of them many times, but this show is FAHNCY and at The Moore and it’s happening on Tuesday, February 4th. It’s a rare opp to see these divas in a real, live thee-ATER space instead of a cramped bar/disco with no seating and shitty lighting/sound so take advantage of it. You can either follow the Honey Bucket around all evening at Dickslap tonight and hope you win tickies, or go buy your own. And, if you’re expecting hometown gal, JINKX MONSOON to be present, she ain’t in town…our Gurl is Down Under (in Australia) with Major Scales doing THE VAUDEVILIANS for the next two months.

Also mark your calendars for the next big NARK MAGAZINE event, FIERCE QUEEN happening NEXT Friday at The Seattle Eagle. It’s a “drag pageant for fresh queens” and it’s hosted/judged by our prodigal daughter AMOANIA and URETHRA FRANKLIN. Here’s the allegedly “fierce” and “young” queens performing:

CUCCI BINACA
CUNTELLA VON TEASE
HEATHER HYSTERIC
HELLEN TRAGEDY
NEUROSES
EmpeROAR Fabulous
AUTUMN EQUINOX
CHERRY SURBETE
OLIVIA LAGARCE
KAT JACOBS
COCO BROWN

Not sure about the freshness on some of these hags…if you check their expiration date, some of them seem a bit PAST THEIR FRESHNESS DATE….(LOOKING AT YOU, LAGARCE)

Apparently, the liberry will be open, but judging by this sadass list of wannabes, it must just be the Pre-School Room at the Liberry…the one with books with lotsa pictures and no big words. These “ladies” couldn’t find Waldo if he was sitting on their face. Sad.

The readin’ happens on Friday, January 24 at The Seattle Eagle. You’ve been WARNED.

Tags: Amoania, Dickslap, Drag Pageants, Drag Race Battle of the Seasons, Fierce Queen, Honey Bucket, NARK Magazine, Reading is Fundamental, sgsapp, The Moore