Heather’s 7 Reasons You Should Go To Ferocious Memories vs Fierce Queen

THIS happened at the LAST Fierce Queen…
Photo: Rachel Robinson for Nark Magazine

In January, Kevin Kauer (Seattle’s version of John Waters mixed with Steve Rubell) and his brainchild Nark Magazine, put on a brand new drag competition called “Fierce Queen.” The pageant itself is designed for new and fresh queens, but there’s also an equal amount of seasoned ladyboys that grace the stage. (More on the last Fierce Queen…HERE!)

We last saw “Fierce Queen” in the thunderdome-esque cage of The Eagle. But, this Friday, Kauer is throwing the girls to the lions at Neighbours Nightclub, in conjunction with his wildly successful party called “Ferocious Memories,” which is billed as a prom filled with legally drunk partygoers that are hopefully not pregnant.

Here’s a list of 7 reasons why you shouldn’t miss the shit show…and, the link to buy your ticket to the Partay.

Reason #7: LIVE PORTRAITS BY MICHAEL HORWITZ
If you’ve ever wanted someone to draw your likeness all purdy, but didn’t want to go to one of those cheap ass places at a carnival, then look not further than Mr. Horwitz who will draw you as if you were a beautiful butterfly inside of the A-Ha video for “Take On Me”.

Reason #6: AMOANIA & URETHRA FRANKLIN + CHERRY SUR BETE
The reigning Fierce Queen of Seattle, Cherry Sur Bete, will be joining Amoania and Urethra at the judges table. Together, they will read and throw insults at the girls while they’re performing. Because, y’know, who wants to wait four minutes for a judge to talk shit, when they can just tell the busted bitch to get the f*ck off the stage?

Reason #5: MORE SPACE TO ROAM FREE
We didn’t really get to see much from the queens the last ring around the rosie, because they were confined to the teeny tiny cage inside of The Eagle. Which is fine, but after watching the sixth person climb the wall of the stage and flail their arms out at the crowd … the whole situation got pretty stale. At least at Neighbours, they’ll be able to prance around and werq the crowd.

Reason #4: FURRY GO-GO DANCERS
Unlike the straight laced go-go boys of R Place, Nark Magazine always tries to bring the hairiest, sexiest, and scandalously famous dancers to the Emerald City. Resident fur ball Baby Bear will be shaking his bubble butt ass that just won’t quit and will be accompanied by Christopher Darling, as well as the bearded demi-god that is Rich Kelly.

Reason #3: CRAZY DRAG QUEEN ANTICS
Last time, Hellen Tragedy lost one of her front teeth during her debut performance in Seattle. Here at Seattle Gay Scene, we’re secretly hoping that this go around, she loses all of her teeth and whatever’s left of her dignity. Elsewhere, Neuroses ran out of The Eagle sobbing hysterically after being told to GTFO, while Cucci Binaca literally snorted poppers whilst performing.

Reason #2: ONE WILD CARD QUEEN TO JOIN THE FRAY
Always one to keep us on our toes, Kevin has promised that one lucky/unlucky drag queen will be plucked from the audience to join the ranks of the undesirables pining to be Seattle’s Next Top Fierce Queen. Hopefuls are instructed to bring a CD, come prepared, and to not fuck it up. Or, maybe fuck it up? Depends on if Amoania can see through her contacts and Urethra can be bothered to care about your schtick.

Reason #1: UH-AMAZING, UH-UH-AMAZING HI-FASHION
As if there wasn’t enough reasons to go to this rad clad partypad, Nark Magazine has tapped Hi-Fashion as a special guest and they will likely perform that little song of there’s featured in the ‘Drag Race’ S6 promos. Here’s your chance to dance the night away to their wonderful tunes, to not give a fuck if anyone thinks you suck, because you know you’re amazing. Uh uh amazing.

Basically, you better be there, or you’ll regret it on Saturday. And you don’t want to live with regret, right? Right?

RIGHT?

Right.

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Heather Hysteric (Brad Gilligan) is a new contributor at Seattle Gay Scene. When not writing for our fabulous blog, you can find her protecting Amurrca’s freedom in the United States Air Force, while moonlighting as a drag queen whenever she gets a wild hair stuck up her tuck. She loves long walks on the beach, grilled cheese, and her little puppy Trooper.