I just got this sweet/sexy/stupid press release from ASHLEY MADISON, the straight dating/hook up website with the awful name. (It sounds like a strip mall store that’s trying to be posh when it’s actually selling horrible low count cotton/poly blend sheets and tablecloths. Maybe some horrid candles that smell like plastic and failure. Becky with the Horrible Hair likes shopping there. And, her mom, Dolores.)
They refer to it as “having an affair” but their “which heroes and villains cheaters would you have an affair with” survey is obviously weak code for “”which heroes and villains cheaters would you like to do the nasty with” which sounds sounds less genteel. They prefer the “high thread count” wording.
Naturally this is from a hetero perspective but apparently a bisexual/questioning/plain ole gay person or two snuck in there because 8% of the surveyed men wanna find out what Ironman is hiding in his ironman jock strap and 1% want to investigate Captain America’s juicy American hot dog. Meanwhile, 12% of women want to pet Catwoman’s pussy.
Is this based on the actual comic book versions of these characters or are people lusting after Chris Evans and Halle Berry?
The big boinking winner for the women: Thor with a third of those surveyed really interested in the muscle bound Nordic god’s big pink penis. Or, Chris Hemsworth’s hopefully big pink penis. Or, both.
Here’s the Press Release to check out…I’m more interested in finding out who y’all want to “have an affair with”.
AKA: Boink until the cows come home.
Tell us in the comments.
The Hero Always Wins
Ashley Madison reveals which heroes and villains cheaters would have an affair with
(April 25, 2018) – With the release of Avengers: Infinity War on the horizon, Ashley Madison, the world’s leading married dating website, surveyed* its members to find out whether they’re attracted to the villains or the heroes and which character they would most want to have an affair with. According to the data, the majority of men and women would play naughty with the hero rather than the villain with Thor and Wonder Woman being the top choice for affairs.
Against all odds, the hero always finds a way to trump the villain. Even when it comes to the members of Ashley Madison, 75% of women and 55% of men would rather have an affair with a hero. A hero is a person who is admired or idealized for courage, outstanding achievements, or noble qualities. Which is why members of Ashley Madison would see the hero as a more fitting choice when it comes to having an affair. Affairs often fulfill a portion of peoples’ lives that they feel are missing.
“Although cheaters are often portrayed as the villain, they seek qualities that are more inline with the hero,” says Isabella Mise, Director of Communications for Ashley Madison. “Qualities like strength, humility, selflessness, and courage could all be attractive to someone looking to fill a void in their life, especially through fantasy affairs.”
The Hammer and the Lasso
So which hero do the men and women of Ashley Madison see as a perfect fit to have an affair with? Well, for the female respondents, Thor, the hammer-wielding God of thunder, is the hero that 31% of female respondents want to have an affair with. Much like Thor, the other characters that females want to have an affair with show immense strength. Second on the list is Superman with 12% of votes, followed by Wolverine (10%) and Batman (10%).
Top heroes females would have an affair with
Thor (Thor) – 31%
Superman (Man of Steel) – 12%
Wolverine (X-Men) – 10%
Batman (Batman) – 10%
Black Panther (Black Panther) – 5%
Captain America (Avengers) – 5%
For men, the Amazing Amazon was the top choice with Wonder Woman receiving 46% of votes. Further on the list, men would pick Supergirl (25%), followed by Black Widow (18%).
Top heroes males would have an affair with
Wonder Woman (Justice League) – 46%
Supergirl – (Supergirl) – 25%
Black Widow (Avengers) – 18%
Ironman (Avengers) – 8%
Invisible Woman (Fantastic Four) – 8%
Captain America (Avengers) – 1%
For some, fantasies involve a little bit of danger. So when it comes to the characters that encompass dangerous traits like villains do, 24% of female respondents say they would have an affair with the magical Loki. Loki is Thor’s ex-brother and nemisis, proving that the women of Ashley Madison lust for the main characters of Marvel’s hit trilogy “Thor”. For the men, Catwoman was a favorite for affairs with nearly half of the votes (49%) followed by Harley Quinn (23%).
Top villains females would have an affair with
Loki (Thor) – 24%
Joker (Batman) – 12%
Catwoman (Batman) – 12%
Kilmonger (Black Panther) – 10%
Silver Surfer (Fantastic Four) – 10%
Top villains males would have an affair with
Catwoman (Batman) – 49%
Harley Quinn (Suicide Squad) – 23%
Reign (Supergirl) – 13%
Kilgrave (Jessica Jones) – 7%
Hela (Thor) – 4%
*Survey of 1,277 members of Ashley Madison between March 28, 2018 and April 5, 2018
AshleyMadison.com is the original destination for married dating and the global leader for affairs. With more than 54 million member accounts worldwide since 2002, Ashley Madison is the premiere destination for married dating.
WHAT!?!?! No love for Aquaman Momoa!?!?!?!?