Summer is here and vacation is on everybody’s mind, even when you’re stuck at work on a glorious 80 degree day and kids get to run around without a care in the world. It drives you crazy. Crazy enough to KILL? The new Horrible Bosses will help you process those fantasies. Then you can revisit Goonies to remember a simpler time of childhood adventure.
New Releases:
No means NO, Rachel Green!
Horrible Bosses, directed by Seth Gordon (King of Kong), starring Jason Bateman, Jason Sudeikis, Charlie Day, Jennifer Aniston, Kevin Spacey and Colin Farrell. Like 9 to 5, but for dudes–is probably how this film was originally pitched to the studios. Rather than have the three good guys (Bateman, Sudeikis and Day) toiling under one oppressive lady boss, this film features three scenarios: 1.) a belittling slave-driver (Spacey) 2.) an incompetent sleazebag (Farrell) and 3.) a lady rapist (Aniston). What to do? Careerbuilder? No. Murder? Yes. And with hilarious results–or so it’s pitched. It’s not hard to imagine a black comedy such as this finding traction with men and women both who feel trapped in a thankless job due to the economy. It’s no joke that corporations have seen massive profits during this recession, because bosses can squeeze longer hours out of fewer employees for lower wages. This film also boasts an all-star cast, with some playing against type, Aniston and Farrell in particular. This summer has already seen a number of successful comedies, this one has hit potential as well. (Wide Release)
More after the jump…
Ironclad, directed by Jonathan English, starring Paul Giamatti, Jason Flemyng, and Brian Cox. This movie is a mystery to me. It’s a completely self-serious historical epic, conceived as a Robin Hood sequel, starring a ton of famous actors (Giamatti in particular), but at the same time filmed super cheap-o in Romania with made-for-TV quality special effects and a no-name director. Hunh? Naturally this film has unintended camp potential written all over it, and unintended camp is hands down the best kind of camp there is. Furthermore it’s only playing in one random movie theater up on Aurora–mystery indeed. If you aren’t convinced about its camp potential, just watch the trailer for evidence. Warning for the squeamish, the trailer has really fake-looking gore and a cheesy heavy metal soundtrack.
(AMC Loews Oak Tree 6 on Aurora)
Seattle Screenings
Goonies Never Say Die!
Goonies(1985) and Monster Squad (1987) Double Feature: The awesome gang at Central Cinema are showing two beloved childhood adventure flicks from the 80s. As a child of the 80s it was impossible to avoid seeing Goonies at least 20 times. Nowadays the opportunity to see Martha Plimpton, Sean Astin, Steve Antin, and Josh Brolin as cute teenagers on the big screen is well worth the price of admission. In the same mold the now slightly obscure Monster Squad was also a huge deal when it came out in third grade. I was actually young enough to find it scary when it came out, and it was never intended to be scary. One of the big gags is Wolfman getting kicked in the nards. At that age I never even knew what nards were (but boy did I find out later). (Central Cinema, all week)
Collide-O-Scope: Hygiene a Go-Go: Shane and Michael, the awesome duo behind Dina Martina’s videos, return to Central Cinema for a night of bizarro found footage and other gems from the vaults. The theme of Moday’s show is personal hygiene–a valuable lesson for us all. Be prepared to relive the cringe inducing moments from 6th Grade Health class when you learned where hair grows and how to apply a maxi-pad. Bring the kids! You’ll only be traumatizing them for life.
(Central Cinema, Monday, 7 p.m.)
Top Gun (1986) presented in “glorious” Hecklevision: Rewatch all the fabulous homo-eroticism like you’ve never experienced it before–in Hecklevision. Your snarky texts “magically” appear on screen. Your cell phone definitely won’t get confiscated during this screening. Don’t let any one of the casual homosexual innuendos slip by without making some HILARIOUS double entendre about it. Example: I’ll be your wing man…IN BED! (Central Cinema, Tuesday, 7 p.m.)
Jawbreaker (1999) This cute relic from the very late 90s tries very hard to be camp, and as I said above intentional camp is never as good as unintentional. It was marketed as an updated Heathers, which it certainly is not and the comparisons didn’t do this flick any favors. But seen on its own, it has some great lines and any chance to see reigning B-movie queen Rose MacGowan on the big screen is a guaranteed fun time. (Egyptian, Friday & Saturday, midnight)
Dress: 0, Air Vent: 1
The Seven Year Itch (1955) When a married man’s wife and son head to the country for summer vacation he’s left alone to fantasize about the sexy spokesmodel (Marilyn Monroe) living upstairs. It’s a madcap screwball version of Mad Men.(Grand Illusion, all week)
Phantom of the Mall: Eric’s Revenge (1989) A re-imagining of Phantom of the Opera set in a 1980s shopping mall. In the film the phantom lives in the mall’s boiler room and comes out at night to get revenge. If it were me, I’d live in the fine home furnishings store and eat at Panda Express. (Grand Illusion, Friday & Saturday, 11 p.m.)
Ryan Hicks is Development Manager at Three Dollar Bill Cinema, a film fan and contributor to Seattle Gay Scene.
