Here’s Why Your Religion F**cking Sucks If You Support Indiana’s “Religious Liberty” Law

Gov. Pence is serving that “I’m a giant douche” realness.

As you all already know, Gov. Mike Pence (R) of Indiana signed a bill into law this past Thursday protecting business owners who decide to discriminate against any person for “religious liberty” reasons. He then defended the practice while on ABC News’ This Week and suggested he would do it again, and again, and again because he is clearly an insufferable asshole.

Let me make this perfectly clear: if you need to pass a law to protect your religion in order to deny service to anyone, you are not practicing any sort of religion devoted to any sort of bearded man in the sky that somehow magically communicates with you telepathically before bed and/or on Sunday morning in your Church pew.

In fact, you are contributing to the most hateful form of bigotry and racism known to man. Did you not learn anything from the Civil Rights Movement of the past and present? Are you that inept and so utterly myopic in your thought process that you cannot put aside your “God” and view other human beings in a panoptic fashion?

This is the year 2015, not 1915.

And as for this whole counter-argument to equality as far “religious persecution,” bitch there ain’t nobody judging you for sipping on that wine and eating that stale ass body of Christ every single week. I grew up Catholic, so I’ve been there, done that – but you don’t see me or any other Hamburger Mary incessantly trying to pass laws to stop you from praising your Higher Power, nor are we trying to tax the ever-living Hell out of your tax-free hate filled places of worship (although, it’s a pretty novel idea, I must say.)

I do realize all that I have said above is, in fact, rude. I’m judging your actions. That is how it feels every hour, every day, every single damn year you jerks try to pass another law that somehow prohibits my gay ass from loving, working, or twerking my way to happiness. In the end, I’ve already beat you at the essence of life.

Because the essence of life is happiness.

And happiness is always your attitude and you and you only choose how to react to something. Why can’t you be like the kind, non-pushy religious people I know? Why can’t you choose to love, leave people alone, and focus on your efforts on fixing our country’s crumbling infrastructure and education system? Why are you so fucking obsessed with LGBTQIA people?!

Until you sort that out, I will continue to cut you with words and combat against any and all idiotic laws that you try to pass that are discriminatory. And I’ll sleep peacefully at night knowing I’m an out and proud gay man and you’re just a closeted, unhappy schmuck of a jackass smearing any sort of credibility for yourself. Peace be with you, asshats!