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March 2, 2015• byMichael Strangeways

The aging Material Girl apparently hates us. The Haus of Madonna just announced the tour stops for her upcoming “Rebel Heart” North America/Europe tour but Seattle didn’t make the cut. Portland and Vancouver BC will be visited, in mid-October 2015.

From the Breathless press release:

The list of Madonna concert dates for her highly anticipated 35-city ‘Rebel Heart’ Tour were officially announced today by Live Nation with the opening night scheduled for August 29th in Miami, Florida. Additional performances to follow include New York, LA, Chicago, Philadelphia, Boston, Vancouver, Montreal and several other cities including San Juan, Puerto Rico. Following the North American leg of the Rebel Heart Tour, Madonna will begin the UK/European series of dates on November 4th in Koln, Germany with stops in major cities including Barcelona, London, Paris and Glasgow amongst others. A complete list of tour dates follow this release Tickets for The Rebel Heart Tour go on sale starting Monday, March 9th. Additional tour dates for Asia and Australia are expected to be announced soon. The Rebel Heart Tour is produced by Live Nation Global Touring.

“Madonna continues to be one of the most successful touring artists in history – her shows are legendary and we are thrilled to have her going back on tour,” Arthur Fogel, President – Global Touring and Chairman – Global Music.

The Rebel Heart Tour follows the March 9th release of Madonna’s Rebel Heart album on Interscope Records (Germany and Japan March 6; Europe/UK March 9; North America March 10).

When asked why she wasn’t coming to Seattle, the 56 year old icon snarled something about “a lack of respect for my divinity” and, “tastelessly unfunny parodies” that defame the star.

It’s been a strange week for Madonna. An odd mishap at the Brit Awards resulted in Madonna taking a fall during a live performance. She wasn’t hurt but cruel remarks about her aging (including the classic, “will Madonna change ‘La Isla Bonita’ to ‘La Isla Boniva’?) led the star to lash out in Rolling Stone last week.

But, why DOES she forsake us for the tawdry likes of Hooterville (Portland) and Hoserville (Vancouver BC)?

WHY????!?!?!?

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About the Author: Michael Strangeways

As the Editorial Director/Co-Owner, Michael Strangeways writes, edits and does about a million other jobs for Seattle Gay Scene, Puget Sound's most visited LGBTQ news, arts and entertainment website now celebrating its 14th year as a media outlet. A semi-proud Midwesterner by birth, he's lived in Seattle since 2000. He's also a film producer who would like you to check out the Jinkx Monsoon documentary, "Drag Becomes Him" now available on Amazon.com. In his spare time, he gets slightly obsessive about his love for old movies, challenging theater, "otters", vodka, chocolate, "I,Claudius", Lizzie Borden, real books made out of paper, disaster films, show tunes, Weimar era Germany, flea markets, pop surrealistic art, the sex lives of Hollywood actors both living and dead, kitties, chicken fried steak, haute couture and David Bowie. But, not necessarily in that order.