Apparently, Every Out Of Work Aging Comedian Is Coming To Seattle This Year!

Two of the four comedians in this photo are talented. Can you guess which two? (Hint: one is dead and both correct answers have the same name…)

Seattle Theater Group’s upcoming line-up seems to be largely comprised of middle aged (and up) male comedians who could use the work…let’s make fun of them, shall we?

STG Presents Adam Sandler, David Spade, Norm MacDonald and Rob Schneider. at The Paramount Theatre on Tuesday, February 9, 2016

Adam Sandler is an acquired taste.

Like salmonella.

I keed, I keed, (not really); you either really like him, or you don’t. Mr. Sandler was a huge comedy film star for many, many years but his last few films have been bombs of epic proportions. The Wedding Singer and Happy Gilmore have their charms, but pretty much no one except maybe Adam Sandler’s mom could like his last few turds, Pixels or The Cobbler. Those films made about 1.95.

In pesos.

Still, it’s a better career than Sandler’s terrible, terrible male colleagues from his Saturday Night Live days. The smug faced turdery of David Spade…the bland banality of Norm MacDonald…the slimy vapidness of Rob Schneider…

(shudders)

All those side-kicks could use a job, so Sandler rounded them up for a “Comedy” Tour.

He’s such a good friend.

Warning: avoid the blocks around The Paramount on February 9 as hordes of middle aged frat bro types will be driving in from Lynnwood and Federal Way, then cruising around looking for (non-existent) free parking to avoid having to walk more than a block to see their comedy heroes.

Mea Culpa: Adam Sandler’s “Chanukah Song” is really dumb. And, I laugh every time.

David Spade and Rob Schneider have never been humorous. Not once. Ever.

STG Presents & Live Nation Welcomes Bill Maher to The Paramount Theatre on Sunday, March 27, 2016

OK, I cut Bill Maher some slack. He drives me nuts sometimes (his Libertarianism; his sucking up to Ron and Rand Paul) but I like his mouthiness and willingness to “push the buttons” on both the Left and the Right side of the column. He also allegedly loves weed and masturbation.

AND, he was REALLY hot when he was young, dumb and full of…poor choices in picking film roles:

Bill Maher and his sexy chest in “Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death”. It’s a cinematic classic.

STG Presents Adam Carolla at The Moore Theatre on Saturday, April 23, 2016

I don’t really have anything funny to say about Adam Carolla.

Which is fitting, since he’s never had a funny thing to say about anything.

Icons!

STG Presents An Evening You Will Forget for the Rest of Your Life with Steve Martin & Martin Short at The Paramount Theatre on Saturday, July 23, 2016

OK…I’m absolutely NOT gonna snark on these two because….HELLO? Comedy Legends.

Yeah, Three Amigos is a terrible movie but they’ve done GOOD ones, too!

Steve Martin: All of Me, Parenthood, Roxanne are all really good movies. And, The Man With Two Brains is a mess but it’s also pretty damn funny just because Steve Martin gets to scream, “Into the Mud, Scum Queen!” to the evil Kathleen Turner character.

Martin Short:

OK…so, Martin Short has never made a good movie. But, he’s AWESOME in SCTV!