New Column!!! Ask Mama Tits ANYTHING!

Mama Tits!
Photo: Ryan Georgi/PoseWith.Us

Editor’s Note: Oh, that Mama Tits…she’s gone from zero to sixty in just over a year and a half and she ain’t stopping until she hits 160 mph… Seattle’s Skyscraper Hostess is the weekly host of ElecktroPop! at The Baltic Room on Thursday nights AND the producer/creator/hostess of “Mimosas With Mama” her weekly Sunday brunch show at The Grill on Broadway. She makes appearances all over town including a new gig at Q, plus special appearances at Bacon Strip,not to mention numerous gigs hosting/appearing at shows and fundraisers all over the Tri-State area. Oh, did we mention she co-starred in a queer indie film last year, the locally made “Heart Breaks Open”? And, she has her own line of t-shirts, with part of the proceeds going to charity?

In a town full of hard working queens, including Ben DeLaCreme, Gaysha Starr and Sylvia O’Stayformore, Miss Tits is one busy, self-producing, nose to the grindstone, constantly promoting herself and her events, little Diva.  And, somehow, she’s managed to find the time to squeeze in a new project: her own advice column for Seattle Gay Scene.

Don’t look shocked…she’s a Queen! They LOVE shooting off their mouths and giving advice!

So, without further ado, let’s cut to the chase and present the debut of “Ask Mama!”

First question, please:

Why do some bitches be bitches?

Love, Bitchless in Seattle

Mama Tits: Now of course it depends on the type of “Bitch” we are discussing. The art of being a bitch is a sacred one passed down from “Bitch” to “Bitch” and can often be misused and abused when in fact it can be a badge of fierceness and strength. It is a title that is earned after years of “Bitch” training.  Now, I have been called a “Bitch” for telling it like it is or putting someone in their place when they deserve it, but I hold that title upon high. I just view it as I have made my point crystal clear.  Then there are times when I see people being a “Bitch” just to be a “Bitch”, which just makes them an ass in my book. The power of the “Bitch” should be respected and used when absolutely needed and not just tossed around like on old tennis ball at a dog park. If someone is nasty and “Bitchy” when unprovoked or unwarranted then I see them as small minded and needing to harm someone so they feel better. My advice for those “Bitches” is to do some soul searching and figure out why they are so insecure that they have to take the sacred art of being a “Bitch” and turn it into something dirty and trite. We “Bitches” have a duty to show them how to use their power to be a proper “Bitch”.

Now I ask you, are you a “Good Bitch” or a “Bad Bitch”?

What’s the right moment to tell the boy you’re dating you’re a tranny? It’s just so hard being so passable.

Mama Tits: This is a very delicate question. I live my life as an open book and am forthcoming about many facets of my life with everyone. I have always been a firm believer that the truth will set you free. Now I know it can be hard to be honest about everything with everyone all the time but when it comes to dating someone it is imperative to be honest. I am not saying that the first time you meet someone you need to list every secret about yourself, but as soon as things start to progress into a relationship you must be willing to have honest conversations about each other WITH each other.The most important thing in any relationship is honest communication and you cannot have that if you are not honest with your partner about who you are. I cannot imagine how stressful it must be to have this secret looming over your head when you are in a new relationship, however if he cannot deal with you as you then you don’t need to be with him at all. Now there is a flip side to this coin. You mentioned that it is so hard when you are so passable. I am assuming that the guy you are with is Str8. This is a much more delicate task depending on how far you both have gone sexually. But, I am inclined to go back to my initial statement: The Truth Shall Set You Free! In a perfect world you would have this discussion before things get sexual, but I understand how passion can be. Hopefully, you have found a good man that will care for you as you are and be willing to overcome any adversity, but be prepared that this is not a perfect world and things don’t always go as planned. Be proud to be you and be honest with potential partners about who you are and believe me, the right one will find you.

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Got a question or need some advice? Mama Tits is here to answer ALL your queries!

Drop her a line at: mamatitsonstage@gmail.com

And, please remember that Ms Tits is NOT a licensed therapist or doctor of any kind. She’s happy to offer her pearls of wisdom based on her many years of experience, but if you have serious issues that involve your physical or mental health, please consult a licensed medical or mental health professional.

Check out Mama Tits at her website, Pink is the New Everything.com or keep even more up to date with her Facebook page!