It Behooves You To Vote….Do IT!

Vote…or, we’ll have him put to sleep.

The clock is ticking, Clarice…

The first Tuesday in November is upon us which means it’s time for U.S. citizens to exercise their God/Yahweh/Zeus/Allah/She Who Must Not Be Named/Random Rage Demon of Your Choice given right to vote in elections.

In beautiful Washington State, all of our votin’ is done by mail so hopefully you all have your ballots in your hot little Albolene moistened hands already filled out and ready to drop off at the Post Office (don’t forget the stamp!) or at your closest drop off box in your city or county. All ballots must be postmarked by Tuesday, November 4, 2014 or dropped off by 8pm that same day at the designated drop boxes. In Seattle/King County you can go to:

Seattle Union Station – 401 S Jackson St, Seattle, WA 98104

King County Election Headquarters – 919 SW Grady Way, Renton WA 98057

Bellevue City Hall – 450 110th Ave, Bellevue WA 98009

As for WHO or WHAT to vote for….don’t look at me! My “political journalist” abandoned me to sell greasy Halloween make-up and, as of yet, I don’t have a huge staff of journalists roaming around the Halls of SGS HQ that I can corral into a boardroom for our own version of ‘The Stranger Election Control Board”. (Eventually, I hope to have paid journalists….then, I can FIRE them, if they annoy major advertisers who also happen to be buddies of mine!!! SCHWEEEEEEEET!!!!!)

Frankly, (and, I’m gonna get yelled at for writing this) it’s a dull off season election for Washington and Seattle specifically. YES, you MUST vote, but let us be honest and admit that it’s tough to get excited in a year without Presidents/Senators/Governors/Mayors or juicy zexy initiatives full of pot or gay stuff to vote for. STILL, ya gotta vote to elect Congress and our State Legislators and hopefully pass bills for gun control, smaller class size and improvements to Metro bus service.

OK…since y’all begged, here’s your very limited “Strangeways Election Control Board™“ recommendations for Election 2014!

Initiative Measure No. 1351: YES
This would mandate smaller class size for state schools. Smaller classes cost more but students also learn more if they’re not crammed into a classroom more crowded than Pony on a Saturday night. Poorly educated students can lead to moronic adults who do stupid things like vote against smaller class size. Vote yes on 1351!

Initiative Measure No. 591: NO

Initiative Measure No. 594: YES
Annoyingly and confusingly, Washington has two initiatives on the ballot relating to Gun Control this election. I-591 is anti-gun control/pro gun and endorsed by the National Rifle Association. I-594 is PRO gun control and anti-letting any dumbass with a wad 0f cash buy a gun from some other dumbass off the internet or out of their mobile home.

If you dislike guns, or the idea of idiots buying guns without a background check then you need to vote YES on 594 and NO on 591.

DO NOT GET THAT CONFUSED!!! I get that you went to school in a seriously overcrowded classroom, but read CAREFULLY before filling in those little circles!!!

Seattle Transportation Benefit District Proposition No. 1, Transportation (Metro) Funding: YES
Dummies/Idiots/Fools keep slashing the budget for Metro despite the fact we’re a rich city and one of the fasting growing ones around. Healthy, successful, important cities have excellent mass transit because it benefits everybody, not just the people who use it to get to work, gun shows, overcrowded classrooms at schools, and Pony on a Saturday night. Voting yes will raise the sales tax a smidge (which is bloody annoying since it’s already high) and car tabs will go up $20 (Big Deal…that’s the cost of lunch for two at a Subway!)

SAVE METRO AND VOTE YES ON Seattle Transportation Benefit District Proposition No. 1 !!

As for the rest of the ballot, vote for Democrats/Socialists/The Less Deranged Radicals of Your Choice and/or follow The Stranger’s Cheat Sheet…. or, actually go out and do some research on your own.

Just VOTE, dammit!