I keed, I keed…
But, only a little bit.
Below is the #Qready disaster checklist, a handy list of things you should have ready in case of some sort of disaster (tornadoes, floods, not taking back the House and Senate in the 2018 elections, etc). This list is LGBTQ specific so they added on some useful QUEER things to the usual items like gallons of water and a first aid kit and food and a radio.
Important things like a gay pride flag and sex supplies and a cute bag to put them in.
Really….once the grid goes down, Grindr will cease to function and NO ONE except the elderly who still remember how to hook up without social media will be “gettin’ any” while fleeing into the Cascades…
(It’s not that hard: think ‘bushes’ and you’ll meet a new friend in no time!)
Climate or Natural Disaster? You’ve got this.
The #Qready checklist, bent toward the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer (LGBTQ) community, helps you be better prepared for a worst-case scenario disaster.
WATER (3-days worth)
Water is crucial in your life; for drinking, washing, and all other uses we take for granted. In a disaster, the water might be contaminated or shut off entirely. Ready.gov recommends that you have at least one gallon of water per person, per day, for at least three days.
FIRST AID KIT & MEDICINE
Your medical needs are important. If possible, have a few days or a week of extra medicine. If you need glasses, an extra old pair will be useful. Be sure to have a first aid kit on hand as well.
Have an extra leash, food and other necessary items to care for our non-human friends – They will need your help more than ever during a disaster scenario.
Get a supply of this crucially versatile tool, in your favorite color or print.
This will make you feel cool (even if you never use it), and you’ll be able to shut off gas or water pipes, but please hand this to someone who knows what they’re doing if you don’t!
Be sure to mark down where you live, with LGBTQ-friendly spaces circled and meeting points marked.
FOOD (3-days worth)
You should have at least a three-day supply of nonperishable food with a can opener and compostable bowls/utensils. Stuff you don’t have to cook is ideal. Be sure to share and get things you will want to eat so you don’t end up stressed out eating creamed corn in the dark.
RADIO & FLASHLIGHT
Be sure to have extra batteries, because you’ll need to see in the dark and will want updates or entertainment.
Pack a rainbow bandana or other small queer flag to find friends, make new ones, or simply for fashion!
SANITIZER, BABY WIPES & DUST MASKS
Having extras of these will help take care of any mess.
SAFER SEX STUFF
Bring items such as condoms, lube, dental dams, latex gloves, sex toys, and an imagination. Nothing else passes time or eases anxiety more effectively.
Be sure to have a small backpack or bag ready to hold all the smaller items. This should be kept with your extra food and water!