Creature Feature drag queen Cucci Binaca’s scooter has been stolen

Cucci Binaca in ‘boy mode’ on her kick-ass scooter in happier times, rolling with her homies
around the Emerald City.

There was a time when strangers were kind, when their voices were soft, and their words inviting. There was a time when Cucci Binaca was blind and the world was a thong, and the thong was exciting. There was a time. . . then it all went. . . wrong. Earlier this week, Miss Binaca woke up from her beauty sleep, propped open her beautifully decorated coffin, to find out that her precious scooter had been stolen. She uses the scooter to get around town, as well as when she commutes to work.

She isn’t sure what time it was stolen, but it is in fact missing in action, and she’d love nothing more than to have it back, so that she can scoot-scoot around Capitol Hill. If you know where Cucci’s scooter is at, or if you were the asshole who stole it, please kindly return it to Cucci TOMORROW at Cucci’s Cake Batter in Bremerton, WA.

And, if you didn’t have any involvement with the scooter-napping, you should still go to Cucci’s Cake Batter anyway. Cake and drag. Cake and drag. Cake and drag. How can you go wrong?