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Home Advocacy, Asexual, Community, Gay 101, Living, News, Queer News, Relationships, SexualityAnswering Questions About…Asexuality

Answering Questions About…Asexuality

April 5, 2022• byMichael Strangeways

Well, this is helpful and interesting news. I think like most/many people, even people in the LGBTQ+ community who might be more attuned to all the members of our alphabet family, there’s a lack of awareness and understanding about the asexual community.

Since April 6th is International Asexuality Day, the Human Rights Campaign sent this little primer out to help us better understand what asexuality is.

Useful information about the asexual community for anyone writing about International Asexuality Day 

Asexuality, often called “ace” for short, refers to a complete or partial lack of interest in sexual activity with others. While the exact number is unknown, numerous sources suggest that there are hundreds of thousands of asexual people in the United States.

Asexuality exists on a spectrum, and asexual people may experience no, little or conditional sexual attraction. To understand the asexual community, it is also important to be familiar with the following definitions:

  • Allosexual – The opposite of asexual. People who experience sexual attraction are called allosexual.
     
  • Gray asexual – Also called graysexual or gray ace, gray asexual refers to a gray area between asexuality and allosexuality. As part of the asexual spectrum, people who are gray ace may rarely experience sexual attraction or only experience sexual attraction under certain circumstances.
     
  • Demisexual – Part of the asexual spectrum, a person who is demisexual only experiences sexual attraction when they have a close emotional bond with someone.

International Asexuality Day is an annual celebration of asexual people and it takes place on April 6th.

What Challenges to Asexual People Face?

According to HRC’s analysis of the 2021 LGBTQ Community Survey, 82% of asexual people said their highest priority health concern is addressing mental health challenges, including depression and anxiety. These challenges are rooted in the stigma associated with being asexual and in myths about asexual people. Similar to other LGBTQ+ identities, asexual people are often met with disbelief or dismissal. Asexual people are often told that their identity is just a phase or that they “just haven’t met the right person yet.” Others may even try to pressure asexual people into having sex, mistakenly believing it will change their lack of sexual attraction.

The truth is that asexuality is a valid identity and there are many ways asexual people find fulfillment in their lives outside of experiencing sexual attraction. According to the split-attraction model, sexual attraction and romantic attraction are separate feelings that may or may not align. Some asexual people experience romantic attraction, go on dates and form relationships with people of the same or different genders. They may value companionship and strongly desire a partner or partners. Other asexual people are aromantic and find fulfillment outside of sex and romance. Instead they may prioritize other aspects of life such as friends, family, work, hobbies and personal values and beliefs.

Some asexual people participate in queerplatonic relationships with one or more partners. A queerplatonic relationship describes a relationship that breaks the norms of pure friendship or romance. For example, a queerplatonic relationship may involve a greater degree of commitment or intimacy than a typical friendship, but does not necessarily include sexual or romantic elements.

Quick Facts About Asexual People

  • Ace Week is held annually during the last full week of October. It is a campaign to raise awareness about asexual people and to celebrate the asexual community.
     
  • Asexuality is not the same as celibacy. While celibacy is a choice to abstain from sexual activity, asexuality is a sexual orientation, or an intrinsic part of an asexual person’s identity.
  • According to HRC’s analysis of the 2021 LGBTQ Community Survey:
     
    • 71% of asexual people said they live in an LGBTQ+ friendly city or town, compared to 82% of all LGBTQ+ people.
       
    • Asexual people more often fear losing their health insurance than the LGBTQ+ community generally. Nearly one-third (61%) of asexual people have concerns about being able to keep their health insurance, compared to 48% of all LGBTQ+ people who have concerns about keeping their health insurance.
       
    • Three-quarters (75%) of asexual people said their employers are generally supportive of LGBTQ+ people.

Additional Resources

  • HRC: Understanding the Asexual Community
     
  • AVEN – The Asexual Visibility and Education Network
     
  • The Take – Why Film & TV Erased Asexuality
     
  • As/Is – Asexual People Answer Questions You’re Too Afraid To Ask

About the Author: Michael Strangeways

As the Editorial Director/Co-Owner, Michael Strangeways writes, edits and does about a million other jobs for Seattle Gay Scene, Puget Sound's most visited LGBTQ news, arts and entertainment website now celebrating its 14th year as a media outlet. A semi-proud Midwesterner by birth, he's lived in Seattle since 2000. He's also a film producer who would like you to check out the Jinkx Monsoon documentary, "Drag Becomes Him" now available on Amazon.com. In his spare time, he gets slightly obsessive about his love for old movies, challenging theater, "otters", vodka, chocolate, "I,Claudius", Lizzie Borden, real books made out of paper, disaster films, show tunes, Weimar era Germany, flea markets, pop surrealistic art, the sex lives of Hollywood actors both living and dead, kitties, chicken fried steak, haute couture and David Bowie. But, not necessarily in that order.

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