We’re so blessed in Seattle…so many holiday traditions to choose from!!!
- Gaily shopping at area malls and Pike Place Market and our hometown supermercado Amazon.com….
- Gaily riding the Monorail with confused Asian tourists after gaily visiting the Space Needle with confused German tourists or gaily grooving at MoPop (the new name for EXP) with confused Brazilian tourists…
- Gaily spending hundreds of dollars on the hundreds of holiday themed light entertainment shows on area stages from Thanksgiving through New Year’s Day….
Yes, everyone and their drunk drag queen cousin now has a holiday themed show to celebrate the birth of our Lord & Savior/Winter Solstice which is just code for “LET’S MAKE LOTS OF MONEY!!!”
That’s harsh. We’re not going to begrudge area entertainers from making some $$$ during the HoliGay Season. Drag Queens, Comedians, Burlesquers and Tiny Dancers should all have an opportunity to practice their craft and make a buck or two while providing the Desperate Hordes with much needed holiday cheer before the reality of The Illegitimate Regime of Donald Trump begins on January 20, 2017.
(Sigh. Takes long sip of ever present gin based cocktail)
Pretty much all of the big annual shows are running now. For the traditionalists you got your “Scroogey/Christmas Carol” at ACT and “The Nutcracker” at Pacific Northwest Ballet.
(Yawn)
Again, I’m being mean. I just wish ACT would spice up their annual tradition…do something crazy and daring with the beloved classic by Charles Dickens….
Cast Pandora Boxxx as Scrooge! Channing Tatum as the Ghost of Strippers Past!!! Tatum O’Neal as The Christmas Goose!!!!
I mean, who wouldn’t want to see “A Christmas Carol Channing Tatum O’Neal Story”?!?!?!?!!!! Fun for the whole family!!!!
Since that’s not happening this year (or, ever) let’s focus on that OTHER annual Yuletide Treat at ACT…their presentation of HAM FOR THE HOLIDAYS produced, written by and starring those two VERY funny Seattle ladies LISA KOCH and PEGGY PLATT otherwise known as the comedy team DOS FALLOPIA and now in their 73rd year of producing Grade A holiday themed comedy entertainment for the entire family that isn’t scared by naughty satirical sketchcoms performed by mischievous lefty lesbians, homos, feminists and dirty liberal vermin like Ms Koch, Ms Platt and their Team of Theatrical Misfits.
This year’s edition is lovingly sub-titled JURASSIC PORK which usually means that there WON’T be any sketch having to do with that tentpole film franchise….but, you can expect visits from some beloved Platt/Koch characters like “Heartwood Mac”, the Sequim Men’s Choir and best of all, the country/western dysfunctional duo of THE SPUDDS who return for “Ham 2016” with a Star Trek themed sketch.
SQUEE!!!!
Here’s all the poo you should know…snatch tickets NOW!!!
Who: Tongueinchic Productions / ACTLabWhat: Ham for the Holidays: Jurassic PorkWhere: ACT Theatre Falls Theatre, 700 Union Street, Seattle 98101When: December 8-24, 2016Tickets: $20-45; Available to ACTPass holders.Now on sale: (206) 292-7676 or www.acttheatre.orgSeattle comedians Lisa Koch and Peggy Platt (aka Dos Fallopia) return to ACT with their wonky, gender-bending holiday sketch hoo-hah, better known as Ham for the Holidays: Jurassic Pork. Directed by David Hunter Koch, the long-running cult series has found a hammy holiday home at ACT’s Falls Theatre, in collaboration with ACTLab. Naughty, nutty, and nervy—nothing is sacred in this mishmash of social satire, musical parody, and campy characters. Platt and Koch take you on a devilishly whacky holiday romp!• Rockers Heartwood Mac host a Seattle music festival;• The Dweeb Girls tell ghost stories at Camp Stillasqueemish;• Are You Smarter Than A Queen game show pits audience members against famous queens;• The tiny Sequim Gay Men’s Chorus sing with glee;• Country duo The Spudds present their sci-fi tribute, Spudd Trek.Ham features performances by Platt, Koch, Michael Oaks, Joel Domenico and musical director Bruce Hall. The creative team includes Robert J. Aguilar (Lighting), Robin Macartney (Set/Props), Kim Dancy (Costumes), Akemi Hart (Wigs), Debra J. Mullins(Keynote) and Lisa Koch (Sound/Video).Ham for the Holidays contains adult humor and themes recommended for ages 14+.
Ham for the Holidays: Jurassic Pork Performances:Thursday, December 8, 7:30pm (Discount Preview)Friday, December 9, 8:00pm (Opening /Press Night)Saturday, December 10, 2:00pm matineeSaturday, December 10, 8:00pmSunday, December 11, 2:00pm matineeWednesday, December 14, 7:30pm (Discount performance)Thursday, December 15, 7:30pm (ASL interpreted show)Friday, December 16, 8:00pmSaturday, December 17, 2:00pm matineeSaturday, December 17, 8:00pmSunday, December 18, 2:00pm matineeTuesday, December 20, 7:30pmWednesday, December 21, 7:30pmThursday, December 22, 7:30pmFriday, December 23, 8:00pmSaturday, December 24, 1:00pm matinee