New Feature: Answers to Frequently Asked Key Words!

It’s fun looking at the stats for a website, (well, for some of us…) One of the cool features is seeing what key words people used in their search engine to ultimately get to your site. Sometimes, they are very odd and sometimes they are obvious cries for help. Let’s look at a few, shall we?

All of these are from April 30, 2011.

1) “James Middleton gay?”

Dear Nosy Readers: By far the number one key word, in various connotations on Seattle Gay Scene, everyone is wanting to know if Prince William’s new brother-in-law is a certified pole smoker…the answer is: To Be Determined by a Tabloid Reporter in the Not So Distant Future. Also: Who cares?

2) “does seattle light rail system goes to seatac airport?”

Dear Reader with poor writing skills seeking this information: Yes, it does.

Sadly, it doesn’t go much of anywhere else…yet.

3) “baltic room gay friendly”

Dear Reader: The Baltic Room is very gay friendly and while it is not an “official” gay bar, it hosts many LGBTQ events and the LBGTQ community feels very comfortable visiting it on a daily basis. That doesn’t mean you should feel comfortable enough to give your same-sex partner a shrimp job underneith a table, but we don’t condone ANYONE of ANY sexuality doing that in a public venue. Well, maybe The Seattle Eagle but only if the WSLCB isn’t lurking around.

We think "The Chris Evans Treasure Trail" should be federally protected by the National Park Service.

4)”belly button treasure trails”

Dear Reader: We’re a fan of these…on men. Not so much on the ladies, but I have many Lady Loving Friends who would vehemently disagree with me, so we’ll say “Seattle Gay Scene is PRO on the belly button treasure trail” issue.

As long as it’s a well-groomed trail with no littering.

5) “carmen carrera a women”

Dear Curious Reader: This of course refers to the RuPaul Drag Race Season 3 contestant known for her near nudity, total lack of modesty, ability to fart on cue, and an apparent lack of a penis.  Miss Carrera wears very skimpy outfits that cover the pubic mound (barely) and little covering her ass and more than one person has questioned how the hell Christopher Roman, (the man behind the duct tape) manages to tuck away his meat and two veg. Fellow contestants on the show still claim they’ve never actually seen “it” so there is speculation that either Mr. Roman is a) not well-endowed; b) has some sort of mysterious Jersey secret on how to shove your wing-wang up your yoo-hoo; or c) maybe he’s trans/intersexed.

Those of us who aren’t really a fan of the beautiful but annoying entertainer, really don’t give a damn, one way or the other.

6) “boobies”

Somehow, typing in the word “boobies” led someone to our website. Granted, we have a lovely photo of Salma Hayek on the site today, but we seldom feature that many girl boobies on SGS so we’re a bit puzzled by this but happy that some boobie lover was ensnared in our world of Glee, Drag Race, Muscle Bears, Pass Around Party Bottoms, Drag Queen Burlesque and Belly Button Treasure Trails.

7) “armenian head bands”

Oh…that must have been our tribute to Cher cover bands we did last week. Word must have got out to the legions of fans for the beloved hair accessory.

I have no idea what this means.